Summer is almost over, and the last few months have been good time to think through some things and really to spend more time with my Savior. This summer, God gave me the opportunity to stretch my faith even further. All summer I was waiting to hear back about a scholarship I was waiting for, and if I do not get the scholarship I can't go back to school and alot of other things fall apart. Needless to say, it has been a challenge to be patient when it comes to trusting God. Now it is August, I am supposed to leave on Sunday for the Leadership retreat, and I still have not heard. However with all the waiting and praying and asking others to pray, I feel in my heart that God will provide. He is not One to leave things unfinished and it is one thing that I would be most disappointed in is not finishing school. I had however come to the point of resigning to the fact that I might not go back to school, and had to come to a place where I was content where ever God decided I should go. Ironically enough I found out that they had never received my letter in the first place, so the next few days will be a scramble, but I know that God will provide.
The hardest question that I have had to ask myself is what am I going to do with myself when school is finished? Other than doing something with people and going overseas I have no idea. No "career" at this point has me interested, and I don't like to commit to something unless I have had the opportunity to try it. Regardless I suppose that many of these are questions asked by college students all over the country, I just pray that within the next few months, doors will be opened and the path made clear. But one thing I know, God remains faithful, God always right, and has a glorious plan prepared for the righteous. It will not be the easiest or the most appealing path but it is a journey that is meant to be run hard. One thought I realized is I want to go to heaven exhausted and having had "not a long life but a full one" (Jim Elliot). it is the choices we make and our attitude in life that really makes a difference.
Here is a quote by missioanry Jim Elliot when he was writing to his future wife betty:
"Is it not, for all its sting, a wonderful way to live, Betty? To dream, and want and pray, almost savagely; then to commit and wait and see Him quietly pile all dreams aside and replace them with what we could not dream, the realized Will?
